College faculty dating students
It seems clear that in this situation the best solution is simply not to write letters for someone you have dated.If you taught that person one course, that really should not be a problem.So in effect you're saying that even if it's considered unethical by "society" then you're entitled to go ahead anyway, because you believe that to be an unreasonable conclusion.While true so far as personal ethics are concerned, this outlook on life is liable to get you arrested when your sense of morals and/or ethics is at odds with that of your society.Once I am done with the short-term scenario where I have influence over a person, such an expectation would impose notable cost/harm without really providing significant benefit. Just because it seems unfair to you not to do it doesn't mean its ethical to do it.
I don't see any sign that this was frowned upon from other department professors.
For instance: I hasten to add that none of these point to any clear ethical lapse or mistake on your part.
In particular, the idea that it is disturbing for a much older (adult) to date a much younger (adult) may be more of a societal taboo/hangup than anything that can be rationally justified.
And then I know people who've been dating almost 10 students in the past years, and that's not fine to anybody (but the students who get good grades and easy work...)@Yemon: I agree.
I was reading the situation as saying that the potential datee is really out of academia entirely..I forgot that we sometimes write nonacademic recommendation letters.